Soliloquy Re Write: To Pee or Not to Pee

To Pee or Not to Pee: A First World Problem

To pee, or not to pee? That is the dilemma—

Whether it is better to relieve oneself from the burdens of a full bladder

The pain of holding it in

Or to rise up out of one’s most comfortable bed in the dead of the night,

And, by rising up, ruining one’s sleep? To pee, to relieve—

And by peeing we would end

The discomfort and the natural feeling of fullness

That nature bestows upon us— ’tis something

We wish for! To pee, to relieve.

To relieve, perhaps to relax— hey, there’s the catch,

For in that relief great sacrifice must come

When you think about the sacrifice

That is what might make you hold in the urine. That’s the thing

That makes us prolong our visit to the room of rest

For who would want that discomfort 

The tossing and turning in bed, the tired eyes in the morning,

The pangs of the bladder, the delay of morning,

The risk of the wetting of the bed, and the pain

That we endure by simply lying in bed,

When we could end this discomfort by simply getting up and walking

Using our own two feet? Who would want to lie in bed 

With a full bladder,

But the dread of getting up in the cold, dark, quiet house,

Walking along the freezing hardwood floor

Going into the darkness, makes us think

And bear the burden of a full bladder

Than to go into the dark and cold

Thus thinking about the inconvenience of it all makes us stop

And thus we lose our will to get up

We become burdened with thought 

And our motivation, 

With this in our minds, becomes lost

And we do not get up